Some teen activities are obvious magnets for parents. For example, wherever there's a basketball, baseball, or football game, you will also find bleachers and folding chairs of parents, siblings, and friends loudly cheering for individual players and the whole team.

Other team activities may not draw a crowd. Regrettably, parents are often among the missing. One such event I regularly attend is the Idaho National Laboratory (INL) Scholastic Tournament. Teams gather from the far corners of the state to vie for an opportunity to take an impressive trophy back to their school. The winning team in classes A-C (depending on school size) is then invited to compete at the U.S. Department of Energy's National Science Bowl in Washington D.C. [Editor's Note: This year, the Boise School District's Treasure Valley Math and Science Center team-in its first year of competition-won the state championship and competed in Washington.)

This was the 19th year of state finals. I found a seat in a small conference room at the Boise Centre on the Grove. Two teams hung their school banners on the wall. Parents from one school soon filled the chairs on one side of the room. More parents stood along the wall or sat on the floor. But where were the other team's parents? One team had bodies in chairs, while the other seemed alone and dispirited.

A quick review of rules from the prestigious panel of judges from BSU, INL, Micron Technology, and other businesses set the tone for the moderator to make a final check of team buzzers, appoint a volunteer scorekeeper, and set the clock in motion for the first question.

Each round of play produced the same tension as a sporting event. Teens had practiced for months, using lunch hours and before-school time to hone their sharp responses to questions about geography, history, science, math, music, and literature.

At the completion of each round, parents clapped and cheered for the two teams. The cheers were more subdued than what I felt. I still wished more parents had witnessed these student minds at work. Realistically, not all parents could be there because of work schedules or other commitments, but it didn't explain a nagging feeling I had that perhaps athletics are the big draw, while academic events don't invite a crowd. Possibly, some parents feel that their teens don't really want them to attend certain activities.

Given that teens yearn to be free and to show their independence, experts in the field of adolescent development say teens still want support for what they choose to do. Stephen Wallace, M.S., says, "In truth, teens very much want some signal that the adults in their lives notice and appreciate what they do."  Wallace, a counselor and advisor to parents of teens takes a realistic look at the lives of teens in his bestseller, Reality Gap: Protecting Teens in a Changing World. He also works with SADD (Students Against Destructive Decisions).

Whether you are a behind-the-scenes parent or up front and cheering, there are many ways to support teen activities. A study from the University of Illinois was published at sciencedaily.com. Among its findings about parent involvement in a teen's life, one thing is clear: teens value the guidance they receive from parents in choosing appropriate activities that match their interests and abilities.

Explore activity options with your teen. Just because you had high hopes that your teen would be a football quarterback (but he prefers tennis) or your daughter has the posture and grace of a ballerina (but she prefers rock climbing and photography) doesn't mean the world is ending. In fact, a teen's venture into a chosen activity is a positive step into a world they help to create.

Heather Kassman, M.S., of Bridges to Peace, LLC (www.bridges2peace.com) works with teens in middle and high schools, teaching them to be leaders and mentors for their peers and elementary school students. She relies on significant support from parents, teachers, and the community in making the program work. She answers the following questions based on her experiences and observations.

What kind of parental support do teens want for their activities?

• Teens want to choose activities for themselves. When parents support those choices, they are showing support for both the activity and the teen's ability to make a good decision.
• Most teens appreciate parent attendance at events. Being there shows that you care and that you will have a better understanding of who your son or daughter really is.

What should parents think about before offering support to teen activities?

• What role does my teen want me to take? For example, team manager, come to practices, make snacks for the team, prepare fliers, organize an end-of-year celebration, come to every competition and cheer loudly, design team t-shirts, fundraise, take photos and make a scrapbook online ... There are many possibilities.

• Some teens want parent involvement in every aspect, while others appreciate just talking about the activity after it's over. This may vary depending on the activity.
• Other teens may say it doesn't matter. But the truth is, it probably does matter. Gently dig around to find out what they mean by "it doesn't matter."

If you are sitting in the school gymnasium and witness your teen make a three-point shot to tie the game, know that she is probably glancing your way to be sure you saw it. To see a giant grin cross a quiz team captain's face when his team aces a lightning round of questions is a priceless reward. As a group photo is snapped of both teams and goofy poses require parent photographers to take multiple shots, you hope the photos find their way into scrapbooks, yearbooks, school slide shows and front hall trophy cases. The recognition is well-deserved.

Judy Ware, Ph.D. is a Boise based writer and BSU adjunct faculty member. She warms bleacher benches and conference room seats to applaud for athletic games, academic events, and musicals. She hopes that the teens in her family know that she's there to celebrate the great things they are doing.